Yesterday I spoke in a poem about letting go. Tonight I want to talk about change. Personally I often find this word scary. Worse than a 4 letter word. Especially when I'm not the one to make the choice to change. Being autistic change is pretty much a dirty word.
Change is letting go and moving forward. Change is taking a risk. Change is a chance to let faith lead us. Giving God/dess a chance to get us to where we need to be. Change is f'ing scary!
As you all know I took a chance and became a groomer. Spent hours bathing big dogs, grumpy dogs, dirty dogs, flea infested dogs, groomers dogs, you name it I bathed it. Then went to groomers academy, groomed my set amount of dogs and became an official groomer. Then got sick and my world crashed every thing changed when I got back (long story) I got demoted or stepped down to be a bather again, and then got fired.
It was worth it. I made some life long friends, learned a skill to use on our "pound" puppies, and paid a few bills. May not have worked the way I wanted but it was not a worthless risk I regret.
This week I'm taking another risk. I have the chance to be student clergy with a very small church AND do counseling with them. So using my degrees and doing counseling, gaining experience and getting more schooling. YAY me!
Why to I feel its a scary change? A risk? Because its every thing I want and worked for is at my finger tips. Sink or swim time is how I feel. Also I do care about what others say.... I have some that will say I'm giving in ad going main stream pastoring rather then just doing so online or small group. On the other hand I have folk yelling UNITY those new age freaks. I may lose a few conservative or very liberal friends. I hope not but I maybe a controversial choice in a controversial church, so I wont be surprised if I do.
Funny thing change......things about me may change but I'm still me. I have my small group name Runick.I still believe small is the way to go. I still say a few naughty words. I'm still searching for my spiritual path. Unity will allow me to still be these things and more. Not only that but help with it all. So many different faiths and people are part of Unity I get a chance to earn even while learning.
Sigh change. That time in your life that you can sit passive and see what happens of take a hug leap of faith. For me today I'm taking the leap. Right now it feels as if God/dess is holding HER arms open and I'm leaping in.
I'm including a video I made when I was thinking about a different very seminary a different path. However I haven't shared it before and now seems the time. It shows a a lot of change in me up to about a year or so ago wen I made it.
I feel the answer to the question it ask is a resounding YES for me.
The video is very Christian although that now is not my sole path . Hopefully you will enjoy it.
“All
changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we
leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before
we can enter another."
Anatole France
I have finally learned the question in not if change will happen, we know it will. The question is will we be passive by standers and jump in and make the change or at lest make the best of it.
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I ask you guys tonight to share change stories. We don't always want it, we can't always control it, However we can make the best of it.
Shelama my friends.
2 comments:
Wow, I think my biggest change came when I woke up in an unknown hospital with the sound of a nurses voice singing in my ear the most beautiful gospel song I hav ever heard. I had no idea what happened or why I was there. I had lost everything..my memory, my dates, times, and most importantly myself. WHat was I going to do? I jumped in feet first and learned everything all over again, from how to read and write to how to walk. More importantly, I learned how to love and be loved, how to not take life or the days good and bad for granted. Everything in life is a blessing and I almost lost all of that in the blink of an eye. Change is difficult, but in the process of my changing I became a better me for me and everyone around me.
What an amazing story. Something that could have been scary and horrid to say the lest, came out as so beautiful.
Thank you for sharing. I for one and very glad you are the person you are today.
Love,
Carrie
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