Thank YOU for helping me chase you away!! xoxoxoxox

I almost let you win

who??

yes you

you with the angelic grin

you act in god's name

who??

you, god

but what you do is cause pain

you claim to be holy

who??

you!!

you and your claim of holy

it almost happened today

what??

you winning

you almost, almost pulled me astray

your angelic smile

whose??

yours!!

you made me stumble mile after mile

we know who you are

who??

you!!

with your angelic smile from a far

I blew today off in a haste

why??

because of you

I listened to you and your waste 

 

I won't do it again

what?

listen to you

and your cries of sin

I've been in tears most of today. A good part of the reason is physical. Very few people understand unseen pain. My ears hurt. On a scale of 1 to 10 my ears hurt a 9 almost all the time. I cry myself to sleep. I wake up crying. I volunteer to bathe dogs at work so the sound of the dryer can hide the sniffles of my tears. I hurt. (Thankfully unlike a couple of friends in my life there is an end in site. For those with no hope of relief...my heart goes out to you.)  The doctor looked in them yesterday and says he can relief almost all if not all the pain, but sadly little hearing will come back. Something else people can't see. Deafness. 

Sure I have some hearing. I lip read and GUESS and FAKE a lot more then most of you have any idea. But there is no magic fix like most vision problems. I can't go to the eye doctor, pay a couple hundred bucks and see perfect again. For a few THOUSAND I can get aides that let me get by. And this is only after the surgery.

So yes I have been crying in pain, frustration, embarrassment, hopelessness, fear....you name it!!  Lots and lots of tears today. Will the pain stop?  Will I hear at all? Where will the money come from?  Am I becoming a bigger burden on friends and family? Everything I feel I want to be and am called to be involves hearing. 

I've kept much of this fear (hearing loss) from loved ones. Why? I'm not sure...embarrassment, scared they won't understand, hopelessness? But now that in the last twenty four hours I've started to share, its getting better. Maybe thee is only money for the surgery....maybe hearing aides are months away. I don't know, but I do know I have people who will help me get there. I do know I still have YOU as part of my blog.

What will happen when I go back to work after surgery and I still can't answer that dreaded evil phone? I can't even begin to explain to any one not part of it what that "phone" does to us at work. Something so simple, that makes us mone, and wose burden can easily be shared has such power to divide us. So yes I cry over the worry of if I will be able to answer it when I go back.

 

So there is the physical and some of the emotional for me . It gets worse. Yep some how it all feeds on each other.

I watch the amazing love of my life suffer because of many things. Including you. (if you think I'm taking about you, don't' be vain...some of it may be you  but mostly I mean evil, conceitedness, selfishness, and judgment. I don't often use the word devil..that makes people think he is simple and can be put in a box and sent away,  so I go with evil) 

Today she had panic and wanted to run from the world, partly cause she listened to you. Partly because she loves me so much she wants to "fix" this for me. Panic for the most part is another unseen pain. It real, its there... you can't take a deep breath and make it better.  People miss out on a lot of beauty and strength because they wont take time to see past this.

So today I cried for her. I cried because I see her strength, I see her love and I see her pain. I cry because she has so much to share and you are to sure of your self and what you believe to take anything she has to offer. I cry because I see you want to cut her down. Why are you afraid of her? Of us? 

Also I cried of happiness. We have people who love us. We have people that have offered and given money to hep with my surgery. We have people that offer to come and be with J and our family while I have surgery. To come sit with me the day after so J can work or rest or what ever she needs.

We have family and friends. We have a beautiful future. To save my sanity the last two days I've been thinking a lot of that future. Of taking J to Washington DC to make our life legal to the government and on paper not just in the eyes of our friends and God.. Some of you may think I'm crazy looking to June and October when I really just need to make it through the week. But I need to remember why. I need the hope. 

 

While we have the "you" of evil....we also have the "you" of love and beauty. I get out hurt bu writing poetry like what I wrote above...and then when I let it out, I have room to let God back in. Maybe a better way to say that is , I let it out so I can feel God there, because I now SHE never leaves me, as much as you would like to steal HIM for yourself.

So yes angry and hurt Carrie is here again tonight at 430 am because I hurt, in pain and heart. Because the love of my life hurts, and it brings me peace to finally watch her sleep a little.

I also need to say thank you. Thank you to J's parents that are there with us every step of the way. For the call from J's mom this afternoon when I was just "done" and couldn't deal any more. And thank them for being MY family too.  Thank you to the people offering and lending money. To those that at just the right  time post on my facebook wall and make me smile. Even as simple as hitting like on something I posted can make me feel validated. Thank you for sending me text that make me giggle and feel loved and kept me company. Thank you to Jamie just because she is Jamie. Thank you to the friend that is helping look to the future and is offering anything to help keep our hearts safe, like helping come up for a pattern and dew the perfect dress for June.

I know I've missed some people here in black and white, but not in my heart.  I'm writing through tears and it is real raw so sometimes mistakes are made. 

 

So this may not be my nest "work". but its real.

I remind myself that:

Matthew 18:20

King James Version (KJV)

 ²⁰For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

So when I have surgery Friday there is no doubt in my heart or mind that God will be with us.

A romantic love song that makes me think of Jamie often, but tonight seemed way better then any church song as a way to offer my thanks to you.

I love YOU my family and friends. Thank YOU for helping me chase the evil "you" way.

My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I,
Got out of bed at all,
The morning rain clouds up my window,
And I can't see at all,
And even if I could it'd all be grey,
But your picture on my wall,
It reminds me that it's not so bad,
It's not so bad.

I drank too much last night, got bills to pay,
My head just feels in pain
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today,
I'm late for work again,
And even if I'm there, they'll all imply,
That I might not last the day,
And then you call me and it's not so bad,
It's not so bad.

And I want to thank you,
For giving me the best day of my life,
And oh, just to be with you,
Is having the best day of my life.

Pushed the door, I'm home at last,
And I'm soaking through and through,
Then you handed me a towel,
And all I see is you,
And even if my house falls down now,
I wouldn't have a clue,
Because you're near me.

And I want to thank you,
For giving me the best day of my life,
And oh, just to be with you,
Is having the best day of my life.

And I want to thank you,
For giving me the best day of my life,
And oh, just to be with you,
Is having the best day of my life

 

 

 

 

 

 

Being Grateful for the Great-full-ness!

God is Great, God is Good;
Let us thank Him for our food.
By His hands we all are fed,
Give us Lord our Daily Bread.

Amen.

Author Anonymous

Friends are Great, Friends are Good

Let us thank them for our gifts

By their hands we are truly blessed

We thank you God for our beloved  friends.

Amen

Paraphrased by Carrie Humphreys

Since adulthood, I've been pretty blessed in jobs that provide decent income. I've had the money to "spare" to fill a friends gas tank, let a friend borrow a few bucks, pay the frazzled mother's grocery tab because she misplaced her debit card while juggling her three young kids. I've been fortunate enough to have enough in my account to pay for someone's brake job or to buy back to school clothes for a family of three young boys.

I've always had room for young people or abused adults in bad situations to spend a few days in my living space to get their ducks in a row. 

No, I'm not bragging. I know there are many people who do more and I wish we could do more. This year our generosity only extended to one of the food boxes for the hungry that they have at the grocery store. So, no, I'm not bragging. 

My reality the last couple of years has changed. I've changed careers and situations to where my cash flow just isn't what it used to be. In fact,  I'm lucky when its a trickle, forget the flow. Fortunately, because of the love and time we have, and the generosity of others toward animals, we are still able to feed our giving spirits by taking care of special needs foster pups.

You want to know what's odd about all of this? While I do miss having those things to give, thanks to the people in my current life, I'm actually happier than ever. Huh...imagine that. 

For the first time I'm truly experiencing anxiety/fear/stress and humbleness. In the next few days and weeks, I will be seeing specialists about medications, surgery, and hearing aids for my ears. I'm overwhelmed, not only by the money this will take, but all of the insurance hoop-jumping required and even haggling to make payment plans with the doctors. 

While I know I have mentioned the pain and fear of the pain often, I've mentioned very little about these financial fears. Yet somehow, my friends and angels have come up with words of encouragement, offers of help through the medical system, offers of rides, company for Jamie and her parents, prayers, karma, and good spirits and yes, even offers of money and loans. 

As this humbles me, it also lets me know how very very blessed I am. Thank you. 

Sometimes "thank you" are not the easiest words to say. My gut reaction is to say "I appreciate your offer, but I'll be just fine." This time I really do need the help being offered. I guess they are right, God doesn't close a door without opening a window. 

When we deny a gift

– be it praise or present –

it’s rude, impolite and hurtful. 

Think about it! 

The giver was sharing with their heart and wanted to put a smile on our face or give our spirits a little boost and we essentially threw it back in their face. 

When the same giver continuously has their gifts rejected, they eventually stop sharing them. 

This is bad for both parties as they each feel unappreciated but for different reasons. 

That’s horrible and unnecessary and can be avoided by just saying 

“Thank you.”

 

Zen Frogs and Pickles have made my Christmas!

 

Woooooshhhh!!!!  What a busy, holy days season!!!!!!! And to be honest, its not even over yet. Jamie and I have declared Epiphany, "Stocking Day". If Epiphany is good enough for Jesus to get his presents, then its good enough for us too!! :)

I think this season I have gotten some of the most thoughtful and loving and "ME" gifts I've ever gotten. I've received everything from pink and green frogs, sherbert colored fish, candy, a waterproof phone cover, numerous videos and last but not least, a pickle with a Santa hat on it. (This is a condensed version, but you catch my drift of how thoughtful and loving everyone was. I can only hope my baby xmas trees, pens, "perfume", charms, and paw prints come close to the TLC I received.)

But OHHHHHHHHH the pickle! Let me tell you about the pickle!!! A friend that I have been getting to know better and better through work and my blog gave me my amazing pickle.

Here is my pickle!!!

Here is a very brief history of the pickle

Growing up Lutheran, and some small percentage of German, I knew some of the history of The Christmas Pickle. My cousins had one and I knew something about an extra present, but that's about as far as it went. When reading the history on MY pickle, I learned the part about slowing down and appreciating the other ornaments. Hmmmmmm. Teaching children, or adults, to slow down and appreciate at Christmas time. Kind of a novel concept. 

Now that Christmas is basically over (except those of us waiting for Epiphany), lets look back in retrospect for a moment. What allowed you to step back and take a moment to appreciate your surroundings? What allowed you to take a breath and enjoy the moment? Was there anything that actually took your breath away? 

Think about this a little. Then please take time and share your answers with us. I'm not asking for a list of things, electronics, or expensive gifts you got for Christmas. Share with us the little breathtaking frog or pickle moments. Did you even take time to allow yourself to have a frog or pickle moment? Did you give a pickle or frog moment? 

Rainbow Haley & Rainbow Claude

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Dear Friends, 

I've missed all of you and our discussions and comments so much. I can't thank you enough for all the prayers/concerns/karma/warm thoughts/good wishes for the healing of my ears. Also, for the quick arrival of our new computer cord. 

Hope no one has forgotten about my blog, please invite more friends to join and comment as we close out this year and start a new one. 

Love, peace, and shalom to all.

Carrie Lynn

A moon by any other name....

 

 

When I first discovered the moon,  I gave it a different name.

But everyone kept calling it the moon. 

The real name never caught on. 

 Brian Andreas

 

 

For some reason this makes me think of faith and courage. What are they? Does it take courage and or faith to stand by what you believe in, even if no one else sees it the same way as you do?

Do those of you that see the world a little different, feel frustrated or lucky? Ashamed or joyful?

I often see the world very differently, my upbringing, my autism, my Carrie(ness), who knows. For awhile people tried to medicate it out of me and I let them. Let me tell you that was when I was a MESS! Yes, sometimes it is a little scary and overwhelming to see things so differently.....but I'm thankful I do. I'm even more blessed when I  have the courage to share with others what I "see"...often it shows them a different way at looking at something and they like it. Even more exciting to me , is it gives them the courage to open up to me and share how they see something new and different too.

It's very interesting to me that some faiths teach you to be a blind follower, everything is literal. To me this takes great faith and courage. To take what some one else is teaching you , take their word for it, place it in your heart and soul and learn to believe and have faith in it.


Other faiths encourage you to meditate, to reach with in and explore. To study to learn and to expand your mind. Again, this takes faith and courage. Yes of a different sort, to trust yourself, to trust God's/Higher Power's voice with in you.

To me faith and courage often go hand in hand and are powerful things. Scary when used to hurt, amzing when used to heal and grow. Seems like both types can go either way.

I'm a seeker.....I want to learn learn learn.....learn from books, learn from stories, learn from others, learn from you, learn from experience, learn from my soul when I let my self hear God speak to it. This is my comfort, this is my joy. This is my faith renewed every day.

Where do  you find your faith?

Are we really just following different paths to the same God?

We all take our rest under the same beautiful peaceful moon that God has created for each and every one of us. God's gift to us ALL. May you find the peace, the strength, the courage and faith to take you where every your journey leads, to share it with others, and invite them along!

A moon by any other name...may be even more beautiful!

Shalom

************************************************************

The poem above is from a site called story people. Please check it out. I have found much inspiration and points in my life from here. Its also a lot of fun!! (Just click on the pretty purple link)

Story People

Again I invite you to share stories bought to mind by what I have written and the questions I have asked. AND please share this link!!! I know I say this most every night, but here it is again....share with us....I think we all want to learn, different opinions and beliefs are welcomed and help us all learn. Just first and fore most..RESPECT please. Disagree but not in a hateful condescending way.

I know some times blogger won't let every one respond...if this happens just respond on face book and I will cute and paste for you. Be anonymous if it helps, but peoples names with their thoughts are a beautiful think.


Love to all!!!
Carrie Lynn

Angels, Demons, and ME...OH MY!!!

I keep asking questions and not many are answering publicly....but your loading up my inbox in face book and e-mail so hopefully I'm getting something right here in my own little pulpit! I still hope for more discussion, but until then I'm grateful for what is being shared with me personally. I've grown so much, and gotten to know some of you much better.

The last two years have been very hard and there has all been a lot of healing. Especially these last few months. Thank you for all that have taken part in that journey.

Tonight I want to combine two things that I/we have talked about and then ask my nightly question.

I wrote about Good/Bad Wolf and got some interesting answers of how do you feed one or the other.

I got some good answers on the blog and even more in my inbox (come on you guys SHARE with each other!!!  Your brilliant and insightful!)


I/we also talked about every day angels and many people had stories about who are their earthly angels, their guardian angels, and how they are angels to each other. This was one of my favorites as far as responses go. However, again I say......respond here on the forum or over on facebook so we can all talk together!!

I bring these two up because last night while not able to sleep I was taking one of my normal (for me) wandering paths through the internet and I found an partial interview with Train , a musician, talking about the back ground to his very famous song Calling All  Angels!

It was interesting to me, because this song like many other have so many layers of meaning to me depending on how I feel at the time, or where I am in life. He said he was almost hesitant to share the personal meaning behind it because so many saw it as some what of a love song...and it really wasn't...unless it was a love song to himself.

He shared about being deep in therapy and self inspection, when his therapist finally told him...we are all made up of angels and demons.....a spiritual yin yang. That it is up to you to have the courage and power to call upon the angels so you can do good.

I've been thinking about this every since. How amazing is that? To CHOOSE to have to power to call the personal angels within YOURSELF. To give YOURSELF the power to change to world. To be some ones angel. Even if it is as simple as making some one in pain smile for just a minute. That smile could be contagious and who knows where it would go. Or maybe that smile gives the person the reason and courage to go on just a little longer.

The flip side? Allow our hurt, revenge, even laziness to have the power to call up the demons. To choose to call up our own personal demons. To cause hurt, pain, emotional scars and tears. What if out pettiness, cause us to choose to call our demons on a particular day instead of our angels? Are we responsible
for hurt we cause unknowing?

We like to take credit when we cause a smile that spreads, like a pay if forward sort of thing (see where I tied in movie and song???) Its very easy to say hey I put so and so in a good mood and look what they did, that was all cause of me. So do we assume on some level, the bad too? We frowned when some one wished us merry Christmas, it made them grumple at the next person they saw, that person kicked a dog, the dog bit a little old lady.....I know its pushing it but I think you see where I'm going.

Now I'm not here to get into theology on this one about are all angels good and all demons bad. Lets just go on the premise that angel=good..demon=bad, for this discussion. I promise we can open this can of worms another time.

So question for the night...... how do you choose, dig deep, and find the inner power to call your angels??

How do you see past your emotional or physical pain  and bring out angels?

Do you every just decide" f*ck" I hurt and so can they, so you CHOOSE to let the demons fly?


I'll be personal and very honest here.... some times I'm tired,,,I hurt to my physical core from seizures, this and other things have me emotionally down and then there is that one last thing.....the one that may seem simple to the person that did it, but it cut me to my very being and I want to let those demons out. I feel them coming to the surface and I think how good it would be to just let them fly free for a little while. Sometimes in this mood I'm sure I say that hurtful word or thought to some one that I would never truly mean to hurt. It takes every ounce of my...what?? I'm not even sure, soul, heart, being??  To call them back down and call out the angels.

So I ask you my friends, how do you make the choose, every day..to reach deep in your soul and come out with angels??

How do you know when you have let the demons out, maybe just a little? Is there a personal sign? How do you stop at that point?

How do you deal with the fact that those very angels or demons you call are part of you? Not a mystical magical creature, but part of your spiritual being? Does it scare you to know both are there? It does me!

"Calling All Angels"

I need a sign to let me know you're here
All of these lines are being crossed over the atmosphere
I need to know that things are gonna look up
'Cause I feel us drowning in a sea spilled from a cup

When there is no place safe and no safe place to put my head
When you feel the world shake from the words that are said

[Chorus:]
And I'm calling all angels
I'm calling all you angels

I won't give up if you don't give up [Repeat x4]

I need a sign to let me know you're here
'Cause my TV set just keeps it all from being clear
I want a reason for the way things have to be
I need a hand to help build up some kind of hope inside of me

[Chorus]

When children have to play inside so they don't disappear
While private eyes solve marriage lies cause we don't talk for years
And football teams are kissing Queens
and losing sight of having dreams
In a world that what we want is only what we want until it's ours

[Chorus x2]

Calling all you angels [Repeat till fade]

May you sleep in peace tonight...surrounded by your angels!

Anything you can do I can do better!

Be careful of those who imagine themselves to be on the High Road while everyone else is walking the Low. If they really are on the High Road, they will offer to take everyone else with them, not simply tell others that they are going the wrong way.

Neale Donald Walsh

"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend." -  

--  Albert Camus

How often are we tempted in life to point the finger and say to so and so...your doing this wrong!!! Why don't you do it like this???

It seems to be human nature. We want people to do as we say not as we do. 

Where is this more obvious then people we view as leaders or experts?  You drive by a hospital and  you see health care professionals out side shivering in the cold to have that cigarette. Dieticians eating at McDonald's and Taco Bell every day, we groomers who don't take time to brush our own dogs.....and yet again a list that goes on and on. We just kind of shrug our shoulders and say..well they are human!! Kinda like boys will be boys.

But what about the pulpit? IS it fair for us to expect them to lead a holier life then us? I'm not saying should we expect them (us)  to be perfect. A pastor/preacher/priest is human and has human frailties.  However, what about these so-called leaders that that spout venom (yes I said venom) against any one different, from the pulpit. 

I ask this to my friends and readers because we are hearing more and more every day about preachers who have screamed fire and brimstone sermons from their pulpits against same sex relationships, against gluttony, against adultery, against coveting, against premarital sex, against pornography, against consuming alcohol....AGAINST  AGAINST AGAINST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then these very same preachers fall from the pedestal we put them on, flat on their @sses, out of the pulpit. Are we unfair when we expect them to live to the same standards they preach so loudly?

I wholeheartedly agree with the biblical teaching of not judging:

JOHN 8: 7 (NIV)
“Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”

So what I am asking, do you feel preachers should A) be accountable for their actions B)practice what they preach C)be held to a slightly higher moral standard....or maybe just live amongst us and lead by example?

*******************************************************************************

Dear friends and readers, 


I really do hope when you feel inspired to respond, you do so. I feel we can learn and grow a lot from each other. All I ask is respect, not condemnation of one another. I'm hoping to create a truly safe place for me to share my thoughts with you while learning from your beliefs, thoughts and experiences. 


Shalom, 


Carrie Lynn

 

Are you there God? It's me Santa!

I asked on my profile a couple of months ago if people thought it was ok or even possible for God to wear different "clothes" depending on who God is talking to.

I got some interesting answers. Everything from "That would be hypocritical of God, everyone gets the same God", to "Hellz yeah God looks different to me depending on what I need at any time".

I have so many friends from so many walks of life that I think about this often. Can we believe in the same God, but through different eyes? With different names? This is kind of scary, but maybe even different rules? I mean the rules did change from the old to the new testament in a lot of ways!!

I recently read a children's book that that posed this question in a child like but very deep and spiritual form.
The book is by Neale Donald Walsch, and I know he is a little out there for some of my conservative friends, but I really believe he speaks from is heart and soul.

The book is Santa's God.

Hopefully Mr. Walsch will forgive me for giving away the plot to a beautiful book, but I am doing it to share his beautiful thoughts with you. So here is my short condensed, cliff notes, version.

A young girl tells her friends she is going to wait up this year to meet Santa. They tell her if she does, she must prove it by having asked him a very hard question. She waits up and when Santa gets there she ask many questions to Santa's great delight. They have an enjoyable time sharing questions and then answers. Then she looks to Santa very solemnly and ask "Santa, who is the real God?" Santa sits in shock because of such a big question from a little girl.

He quickly gathers himself and walks her over to the mantle where there are many Santa figures. He ask her how many she can name, what part of the world they are from etc. etc. Then he whispers to her "It's a lot like that with God". 

OK I took some pretty liberal interpretations to condense a beautiful book. BUT.....is this possible? Can God be "different" to different people?

Many believe the bible is the "literal" word of God, I find this hard to deal with because of all the contradictions. The answer I get it well " man interpreted and man is fallible". OK so its literal and a translation. Yup I'm confused, but that is a discussion for many more blogs to come.  Right now I'm just curious of your thoughts. One God only...the one the conservative church defends so vehemently, or is it possible, just maybe God is bigger then one definition?

I ask this because I truly want to hear opinions. I think people or worried that disagreements what have you will result. My hope is that we can have honest heart felt discussions with RESPECT. Voicing our opinions is not declaring another wrong. I'm starting to get a few more comments and thoughts. I hope more of you will join in and SHARE these post.

I'm not sure Teddy felt the "spirit" right then.

Happy Holy Days ,and yes, Santa does visit our house because in my view Santa is the spirit of love and giving. 

I feel I owe it to the author of the book to at lest place an ad. You don't have to watch if you don't want to, but here goes!!!

A Web of Silver Scars

We all know the story/book of The Scarlet Letter. The woman had sex and a child with *gasp* a minister and had to wear a scarlet "A" for "adulteress" for the rest of her life living in the community.

A friend of mine posted this picture on face book about scars today.

So I started thinking. What if we had to wear our emotional scars much like the scarlet letter? Not in shame and guilt, but as a sign of survival and courage. While many of us would have web upon web of silver scars, the truth would be out there. Sometimes truth helps and heals, not just the one bearing the scar, but others seeing it knowing they are not alone.

If these scars were visible, would people who bash with the bible or use the "church" as a tool for hate, really be able to say "that wasn't me" or "I didn't mean too".

Too often folks who are different, who don't fit the mold, hear "its just tough love....I would never hurt you." "My church doesn't bash ________". Or my personal favorite "Love the sinner, hate the sin." We also hear "My words may be harsh, but I only speak the truth." "I speak the truth that is the literal word of God found in the bible." "Its not MY words, its GOD's words". Or hey, how about this one? "I don't mean harm or injury, I'm called to heal and save." "All sins are the same, and we are all sinners". (When this is aimed at you just because you love someone of the same sex, it can really stir a lot of anger when we don't view it as a sin.)

Come on, I mean, REALLY? WTF? How many of you, gay/straight/white/purple/autistic/neuro-normal/baptist/lutheran/catholic/agnostic/atheist/fat/short/tall/skinny/sober/drunk/"living in sin"/married/single/ (and the list goes on and on).....have not been hurt/stung/or emotionally scared by these very words and many others.

So I would like a way to ask, judgmental Christians, as I stood before them naked with my web of silver scars, if not you, then who caused these?

While many of these scars have healed into a strong beautiful silver network of webs across my body, heart, and soul, and have made me stronger, I am not immune to new lashes that cause ugly, red welts.  I hope, pray, and try my best to have the courage to share my scars in education both to those lashing out and receiving the lashes. Maybe one day, if we can all show our personal scars, there won't be anyone left to lash out.

 Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.' 

 -Matt 25:40 The Message

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”

― Rumi

Because we believe that our ethnic group, our society, our political party, our God, is better than your God, we kill each other.
-Neale Donald Walsch

However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them?

-Buddha 

Faith, Hope, Love and Joy

WOW!!! We are just about half way through Advent. Two more weeks and it will be Christmas eve!!

Are you ready? Have you completed your list? Ready for Christmas morning?

 I know whats going through your head....THE LIST!  Your checking it off aren't you?

Tree    
Cards    

Ham    

Lights up   

Christmas Photo 
Stockings  

Stocking Stuffers 

Invatations
Hostess Gifts

Yep yep yep the list goes on and you only have two more weeks.I don't know about you but money is VERY tight this year and just got tighter because I missed a week of work being sick. So the list just got shorter. Its actually been making me blue. I have new friends I want to buy gifts for. An amazing family to buy for. I wanted to decorate. Instead I am sick and missing work. Ba Hum Bug.

I look on the internet and see all the amazing decorations my friends are putting up. I read and hear about all the huge shopping trips. The electronics bought both for gifts and for themselves. The trips, the parties etc.  The green friend envy was creeping in. 

I've been doing a pretty good job feeling sorry for myself and getting my panties in a wad.


Then I had a thought....

....is that the most important list? What about the "list" of Advent weeks:

Hope

Peace

Love

Joy

I honestly almost forgot this myself. Then while writing my blog about God and church being on the internet I was reminded of all of the above. 

I work so hard to remind people that material things are not what its about, that I forgot myself.

 

I think I'm back on track though. I mean I just listed it above didn't I , I have friends family, a home and faith. What more do I really need.

If I have doubt that God and real friends on the internet exists, my mail lady can help me remember they do. Christmas cards and DVD's arrive daily.

Real life friends?.....It took my GF a loooong time to tell me about every one at work asking about me and how they sent love.

My inbox is full of get wells.

We (Christians) may have "chose"  December 25th as the date to celebrate Christ's Mass so we could steal pagan thunder. But I also like to think that God had a little to do with it....for a lot of the world it is in the darkest coldest bleakest time of year. What better time to celebrate Hope, Peace, Love, and Joy!!! (mmm maybe that's why ancient folks celebrated their holidays then too!)

Thank you to all who read my blog....if you to get down some times this time of year, remember your not alone.  Remember to look to the star or the manager or which ever symbol gives you the hope you need to have peace , love and joy in your heart.  Maybe your lucky like me and rarely feel this hopelessness (normally I don't) . Or hey maybe you never feel it...if so spread the good cheer!

Maybe the actions can be the same for both, help in a soup kitchen, write a few Christmas notes, if you can afford it get a toy or two for a group like toys for tots, make a little extra for dinner to night and take it to that older lady down the road that you know will have nothing more then a cold bowl of cereal for dinner. I think no matter if you are on the sad blue side, or the happy cheer side these will help.

I know my friendly discussions on facebook about faith and joy, and going to the mail box and getting a Christmas card, calls of concern about how I feel from Jamie's mom,  Jamie getting home safe from work, along with all the well wishes from work friends have has helped mine. (Oh yeah and snuggles from TEDDY!!!)

LOVE< PEACE<JOY<HOPE to you my friends and thanks for sending it my way!!!

1 Corinthians 13:13

New International Version (NIV)

 ¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

I'm so very blessed to be loved.

Amen and Shalom

What if God were one of us....just a Face book addict too?

Disclaimer: Dear friends who have known me for a while. This is a similar blog written about a year ago. As things stay the same, they also change. A few new ideas, a little bit of growth, and TADA a new blog

Where do you find God?

I've been asking this question a lot lately. Boy have I got some amazing answers. Here are some answers:

Nature
Dogs(pets)
Family
Friends
Children
Art
The Bible
In a pastor's words
Prayer
Music
Meditation
and a few people said church

What do you think about finding God on the internet? Specifically  a social net work like face book?
Can face book possibly be holy or sacred ground? Yes I hear you, I know "evil" can lurk there. Pedophiles  can lurk and disguise themselves as fellow teens and lure young people astray or worse. I've read the stories of men leading innocent women basically to slaughter  over an internet hook up. Most recently I've heard of stories of homophobic gay bashers luring gay men to hook ups and then beating them.

If these bad things can happen, then can't good ones? Can you worship with friends over the internet? Can God speak through face book?? Can you evangelize, share God's word, share what God means to you, all over Facebook? 

Before any one jumps on me, I'm not saying that face book can replace "real life" interaction. But what about those that are shut ins, have panic issues, maybe just not into "regular" church? How about those whose job requires them to work traditional worship hours. Also, what about those who like to mull over what they hear/read before responding? I know many people who will interact in an online or social media forum that would never speak up in a church or bible study.  Can face book be a means of congregating and sharing? Maybe a stepping stone to other means of worship or connection.

To share a little of my recent history over the last two years....became a workaholic...unable to remember driving past a church, much less walking in.....because of exhaustion, had a grand mal seizure, hit a car, was out of work for a year, and became a partial shut in. During this time I became a MAJOR Facebook addict. I reconnected with friends from home that I had lost contact with. Through one of these friends, found an amazing group called WHOF (Wipeout Homophobia on Facebook) and while interacting on several different threads on WHOF, I not only met my dear Wubby, (who I now share the blog "Whisper Creek" with), but also many people that I hold dear to my heart as true friends. I met my pastor Robert Coats, who also writes a blog called "The Prophet in Pink Sneakers". I have found and interacted with several other amazing liberal/alternative Facebook Pages (one of my favorite being Epochalypsis) and believe it or not am getting to know several co workers better. I found the dog of my dreams, Teddy Farris himself, and through Teddy, a physical church, Scott County Humane Society, and many wonderful friends.

Not bad when two years ago I thought my world was crashing around me.


Once again, I am not saying in ANY way Facebook, digital media, TV ministry, a pastor on a video screen, radio evangelism, or recorded sermons can replace the fellowship of GOING to church. But sometimes it is a life saving and much needed alternative.

So, lets do a little comparison. For many..... 

church....discouragement        face book..... encouragement

church...discrimination            face book...... inclusion

church.....judgement               face book.... empowerment

church....guilt/shame    face book....acceptance/love

church.....loss of childhood friends   face book....reuniting with friends

Face book has been my cocoon and incubator. My "safe place". I know there are "good" churches out there, I grew up in one, even though I had a hard time finding one as an adult. I'm now finding them and meeting some wonderful people....I also know that I don't "have" to go to church.

A lot of this I found on Facebook with out the mention of God or my soul or the Bible. I found my way back to a safe, beautiful and wonderful place.

The reason I'm sharing all this with you guys again is because I want to encourage you to reach out through the internet. Give those virtual hugs. Have an "I love you" and "xoxoxoxxo" waiting in someones in box or wall when they log on.

Listen to that nudge you feel that tells you to write some one a brief message.

Share pictures of your happiness and youtube songs that make you feel good.

Those poems that explain to a T your heart break? Share them, you never know who you will make feel less alone.

Want to put a link up to your church? Go for it!!!!!

Use face book....reach out!!! The life you save just may be your own. 

My friends know my heart and soul yearns for a stole, a pulpit, and the title of "pastor". I'm working on my education and may one day get there. However, comments and emails shared with me after these blogs daily remind me, that while I may not have a stole or a title, I do have a quiet, simple, unpretentious pulpit called "Autistic Mystic".

Here are a few of the links I mentioned and a few others that are very meaningful to me. 

 Whisper Creek

A Prophet in Pink Sneakers

Epochalypsis:The Age of Unveiling

Believe Out Loud

Wipeout Homophobia on Facebook (WHOF)

New Creation (A page connected to a friends brick and mortar church)

Holston Valley UUC, the local Unitarian Church

Scott County VA Humane Society

T.Paws Rescue and ARFanage (our foster and info page)

I hope some of you find comfort and inspiration in at least one of these pages. Please feel free to add other links in the comment section over on Facebook.

Love and peace to you all, my Facebook angels.

I'm not junk....I'm a piece in God's puzzle!

 

King James Version (KJV)

 ²⁶For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? 

To thine own self be true
Shakespeare 


“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”
― Mother Teresa

 “Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.”
Buddha

We hide hide hide

Until BOOM BOOM
KABOOM

What is that kaboom?

What do you think think??

Can you think?

THINK THINK

KABOOM your allowed

BOOM BOOM

You're FREE

FREE FREE FREE

God made YOU 

God made you you

Made in God's image?

Whose whose whose

WHOSE?

Mind blowing

BOOM BOOM BOOM

Why special why unique?

KABOOM blow up the mold

God made you to be

Be be be be

Kaboom blow the mold

Like God

Not like me

Not like them

or her or him

KABOOM like YOU

God looks like...

IDK do U?

Maybe you maybe me

Maybe she him her them

What if maybe...

KABOOM

It takes us all

All all all all

To look like God?

Possible just maybe?

One piece two piece

All God's puzzle

You all know, I think God is bigger then one race, one religion, one faith one book.

I think God is awesome, amazing, powerful and loving.

Our job is to show that love, not that hate.

 Glee's version

Our version our friends and yes P!nks gorgeous voice and naughty words

Merry Xmas! <----------Christ is in the X

 

 

X Stands for Christ

 

Xmas is derived from a mixture of Greek and English. Greeks used X as the symbol for Chi, Christo or Xristo. X is the Greek symbol for Christ. In early Christian times, X was used as the symbol for Christ himself.

 It is believed that during the early Christian era, Christians put an X symbol above their door to identify themselves to each other while keeping their faith secret in a society that persecuted Christians.

 

 

The chi rho is also an early symbol used. It takes the first two letters of Christ name in greek, chi and rho, to make one of the earliest Christian symbols.

 

Early Christians also (and many today) included the Alpha and Omega symbols representing Christ is the beginning and the end. 

OK education done for the day , I have a question. One I've been posing to myself. 

 

What if you woke up in the morning and it was illegal to be a Christian. You can't say the name of Christ. You can't quote scripture. You can't use scripture to prove who you are.

I'm not talking about ways Christian here in the US today perceive themselves as persecuted just because we are trying to be more inclusive. Not being "mistreated" because people say holiday instead of Christmas, but truly persecuted. Life or death. Locked in a dungeon PERSECUTED!

What would you do to prove you were a Christian....Christ Like? Going with the assumption that you believe in a Jesus and God of love..what would your actions be? Would you be willing to live with your actions not your words and memorization of the bible proving your faith? Would you be willing to write Xmas? Would you be totally lost because the proof of your Christianity is all verbal and proven by quoting scripture and SAYING you are a Christian? Are you only a Christian in the four walls of the church on Sunday morning? What to do if they were all burned down? Would you still be "you" with out all these badges and obvious proofs?

Do your actions, or only your words, show your Christianity?

My request to you is to come up with some ways (and SHARE them with us) that your ACTIONS are Christ like. Also does anyone have any other symbols of Christ or Christian they would like to share??

 

Matthew 18:20

New Living Translation (NLT)

²⁰ For where two or three gather together as my followers,^[a] I am there among them.”