Hide & Seek with God & the Rules

i love God/dess

i praise God/dess

i worship God/dess

i celebrate God/dess

i read the bible

i read the torah

i read the koran

i read the books

rules rules rules

you give me all these rules

they hide God/dess

God/dess in the shadows

you say this

she says that

he says this

they say that

rules rules rules

my brain must follow rules

my heart loves God/dess

my soul loves God/dess

oh my God/dess

why do they give me rules

so many rules

how do i follow the rules?

his rules + her rules

do not  >equal< their rules

it is said we must follow rules

but which rules? ALL RULES

i try to follow your rules

i try to follow their rules

one God/dess

so many rules

so how do i follow these rules?

i'll show you

together we'll learn

lets study lets learn

read the books

all the books

study the rules

but LISTEN to God/dess

open our hearts and souls

listen to God/dess

God/dess loves us

loving God/dess is the rule

I've known since I was very young I AM called, not only in the ministry, but to be a pastor. Those of you who have been following my blog, know that as a child I played chapel rather than house. Yep, that's right, I even baptized a duck, not to mention a dog or two in my time.

For some reason, unknown to me, and that I often find heartbreaking, I've yet to find where I fit in to be an ordained pastor. Whether its my autism, my values, the way I was brought up, or just the way I am made, I firmly believe if you are part of an organization that has rules, you are supposed to follow them.

Oddly enough, I rarely question the rules in life except when it comes to organized religion. Coming from a lesbian who is denied many rights, including marrying her partner, in the secular world, this is saying a lot. I may study, question, and educate to try to prove homophobic hatred wrong in the political world, but when it comes to spirituality, my focus is, not to right-fight, but to help ALL find peace with a higher power.

I've explored several denominations as well as other religions and I find so much similarity except for in the fine print. Its amazing. And there you have it. The fine print. That's what gets you every time, isn't it? It seems in so many of today's religions in order to follow the rules, you have to be holier-than-someone and to condemn at least one group of people. How is this spiritual?

So my journey has recently restarted with a overwhelming sense of urgency. Through school, I'm studying theology and culture. Please note I said THEOLOGY, not Christian theology, even though Christianity is included. Personally, and through friends, I'm also exploring more naturalistic religions.

The point of this journey is to, not only find a place for myself, but for others who find it hard to break the rules, yet at the same time, to be a rule breaker.

Slowly, but surely, my journey is becoming more well rounded. Not only because of the books I'm lead to pick up, but because of each of you, your questions, comments, encouragement, and education. Thank you for joining me in this journey. I don't know about you, but I can't wait to see where this journey leads us.