Monday, February 13, 2012

Happy Valentines Day Bullies!



LET"S CHANGE THE WORLD!!!
to suit the bullies
LET'S MAKE THINGS BETTER!!!
for those same bullies

LET'S MAKE A DRESS CODE!!!
to match the bullies
LET'S ENCOURAGE CHANGE!!!
to emulate the bullies

LIFE IS SO HARD FOR THEM!!!
poor poor bullies
WE HAVE TO BE MORE UNDERSTANDING!!!
to those poor bullies



How many of you have been bullied? Really truly bullied? I'm not talking about the "persecution" some feel when REQUIRED public activities (such as Christian verbal prayer) are taken away. I'm not talking about a slight shift in friendships where you pick a new friend to sit with at lunch. I'm talking about having no one to sit with at lunch. I'm talking about having your speech, clothes, smell, walk, looks, shoes, beliefs, family, choices, likes/dislikes, hair, height, weight, color, race, culture, education, parents job, your job, lack of beliefs, friends/lack of friends, shyness,  income,  gender,  androgyny, fashion sense,  bending of gender "normality", willingness to speak out, to help the small, to touch the sick, to help the old/young, saving animals, poetry, paintings, writing, need for medication, need to "spin", EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING judged all of the time.

Have you truly been scared to go to work, school, even church...maybe not just for the fear of your physical safety but also the safety of your emotions heart and soul. Have you cried yourself to sleep?  Wished yourself dead or just that you could "stop" being part of the word for awhile? Wished the school, work,church...would all blow up even if your not a violent person??

Why am I writing about this as my Valentines post? Because I've been thinking a lot about love with all of the Valentine's post around. I think about how I'm stronger because of the love of my partner soon to be wife. I think about the sacrifices true believers in peace make. My pastor posted about the sacrifices and martyrdom that the original (saint) Valentine made in the name of Christ/Love. I'm thinking about the post I'm reading on projects for you to do with your kiddos for school parties for Valentines day.

I don't know about you, but in that last paragraph about a day that is suppose to be about love I see, mmm I don't now, about a zillion chances for bullying. For example "love of my partner" ... yep I'm gay! "Sacrifices true believers in peace make"... to struggle for peace when the world fights for battle is to be bullied daily. Saint Valentine...gave up his life...for what? For sharing the LOVE OF CHRIST by ministering to the poor aaannnnddd wait for it.... marriage equality. YUP.... now I'm not implying he ever married a same sex couple, but he performed marriages for Christians when it was illegal. (Thanks for that tid bit of info Pastor Pink). Sigh and those that know me know how I feel about the school Valentine parties . Even if you were not the kid that was left out, even if you gave "even the smelly kid no one liked" a valentine (which in a way is a little sad that the poor kid is remembered that way and the person is PROUD to have given him a valentine)....it happens every class, every year (unless the teacher is amazing) some one is left out....take it from a kid who burst from the bus in tears after every valentine party till thankfully they stopped when junior high school arrived with its own set of horrors.


what does Jesus say about bullies? 
ANYONE WHO CLAIMS TO BE IN THE LIGHT BUT HATES ANOTHER IS STILL IN DARKNESS
what does Buddha say about bullies?
YOU WILL NOT BE PUNISHED FOR YOUR ANGER, BUT BY YOUR ANGER

what does the Dalai Lama say about bullies?
HATRED IS A SIGN OF WEAKNESS
what does Mahatma Gandhi say about bullies?
HAD VIOLENCE RULED, WE WOULD HAVE BEEN EXTINCT LONG AGO

what did Martin Luther King Jr say about bullies?
I DECIDED ON LOVE. HATE IS TOO GREAT A BURDEN TO BEAR
what did Indira Gandhi say about bullies?
YOU CANNOT SHAKE HANDS WITH A CLINCHED FIST


What I'm trying to share is that while many people are excited about Valentines day, many are hurt even more on this day. To not fit in, to be picked of teased and bullied on any given day is hard and torturous, but on a day dedicated to love it is nothing but pure pain.

We need to teach children that life is not about developing a tougher skin it's about developing a softer heart. We need to remember that even if things get better, for some they suck right now. Even as adults it is always possible to do something as simple as smiling and saying hello or have a good day to those you come in contact with. Help a co-worker. Mentally walk a mile in some one else's shoes. Get to know the shy co-worker or school mate...maybe they really are shy and not the snob some think they are. Bottom line reach out!!

Most faith have a base in love, respect, kindness and out reach. Where and how have so many of us lost our way?

Let's start to day and prove the doubters, the ones that think so many people of faith are conservative haters, wrong. Let's walk in the footsteps of the great ones before us and be an example of LOVE not hate. Do you want to see the martyrs of your faith die in vain?

In honor of Saint Valentine and all the martyrs of love lets start this Valentines day honoring love.

                                      The L Project "It Does Get Better" Signed and Sub-Titled


This is an amazing group of people that did an amazing "It get's better project". It is 8 minutes long but please watch it to the end for many reasons. Yes much of it is geared towards the LGBTQ community, but I think most of my readers know these feelings of being bullied, str8 queer or  ..........



Rakhma, Shalom, and blessing to all,
Carrie Lynn

3 comments:

newcreationmark said...

Fortunately, my being bullied when I was a kid was limited to a kid who would pick on me and my brother every time we went to the city pool one summer until I had the gumption to finally punch him in the face. It didn't hurt him much but he did leave us alone. Fighting back sometimes works.
That said, I don't think I was ever the bully either, though I will always feel bad about the way we did pick on one kid quite a bit when I was in sixth grade. Now that I think on it, it's somewhat ironic that he ended up punching me in the face one morning before school. After that, he and I actually became closer to being friends than we ever had and he did sort of gain some respect from the others. I repeat, sometimes fighting back works. Of course I know that usually the person being bullied is too scared to fight back and often too weak so that isn't a viable option.
I guess I don't have much experience with bullying from either side. I talk to my kids about it, quite a bit, because I don't want them bullied nor do I want them to bully anyone. At this point, all three claim that they've neither been victim nor experienced or seen anyone else being bullied. For that I am thankful. I expect they'll get picked on here and there bc all kids do. That's life. I hope they won't ever pick on anyone else but I'm pretty sure they'll do that at some point as well. We're teaching them, though, that they should treat others as they want to be treated and right now, for the most part, that's what they do.
It's too bad bullying can't be wiped out but as long as there is sin, there will be bullies.

Carrie Lynn Humphreys/ Autistic Mystic said...

"as long as there is sin, there will be bullies" interesting way to put it and it gives me lots to thing on. Thank you for sharing your story I love hearing from you!!!!! I'm so glad you talk to your kiddos about both sides of the bully coin.

newcreationmark said...

What I mean by that comment is that bullying is a sin just like a multitude of other sins...I read last week about three self-proclaimed "street gangstas" jumping and mauling a gay kid in their neighborhood. I think back to a time when a kid I knew in middle school could barely walk into his shop class elective because he was too "rich-looking" and dressed too nicely for a couple of the older, rougher kids who were probably victims of being ridiculed in other circles themselves. I think back to an atheist high school Science teacher who actually threatened a girl who was in my youth group that if she said anything about God again in class that threatened his teaching on evolution that he would make sure she failed the class (he did so privately, in a way that couldn't be proven, of course). Bullying is something we should outgrow when we get older because we realize that even people who are different than us or who we don't relate to are people made in God's image. Problem is that the moment sin entered the world, the image was flawed (not totally wiped out) and we now act on sin impulses when left to our own devices.
We have the freedoms to speak out against injustices, sinful behavior and those whose views we don't like (it is an election year, after all!) but in doing so we shouldn't make people feel physically threatened and we shouldn't resort to tactics that are meant to tear people down. Thats' when our freedom to disagree becomes a sin.
Good discussion topic...