Where does it hurt? Everywhere!

Trying to make it through one day at a time!!

How can I not with friends like mine?

I hurt, I cry

I feel worth less than a dime.

Then you call/text/IM/tweet

I know you're there

I believe you're wonderful 

And you show the world just how sweet

With out you where would I be?

Would I be lost?

Or would I be trapped?

This I know I would be far from free

I know its just a simple little poem, not my normal style, but the last few days have been very very rough and I needed you to know how much you mean to me.

I'm use to being "different" in oh so many ways. In fact I'm not even going to list them right now. But it's is the differences that have made me me. The quirks in my social skills, my sense of humor being a little off, and even my "deaf" accent seem to be part of my charm. When a few times a day I hear wrong its easy for those around me to be supportive and make it a joke. Including me, not making fun of me.

But now......in almost total silence....many of the jokes are gone. It hurts. People say its just your ears...its just hearing. What do they know??? It HURTS!!! Yes the physical is getting better, but no whispers, no voices, few dog barks even. IT HURTS. 

To have friends ...yes FREINDS not just one of 3000+ crack jokes about not hearing  HURTS. To do this today while knowing what I'm going through HURTS.

Most of you also know I'm autistic....far from retarded.  But the tard jokes hurt.Once again I'm talking about people that know me not just of me on facebook.

People ask how I am and I say "fine".  I'm a good southern girl. That's what you say.

I'm not fine. I'm not OK. I hurt.

My ears hurts. My heart hurts, my soul hurts. I'm scared and people make jokes.

For those of you that have been there...the cheesy poem above is for you. Thank you!!!!

The following video  was one we made about a year ago when so much tormenting of teens was going on. I think all you adults agree.....it gets better, but it doesn't always go away.

I hurt. Inside and out.

FYI  this is the real version with the true words!

In my honor turn the volume way way way up...or maybe the opposite....so low you barely hear it and struggle to catch every word and meaning.

While I'm at it.......I would love for you to share with us which words are "hurt" words for you? Maybe together we can stop using them!!

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Pretty much same news as this morning, but wanted to make sure you guys all got it. 

Personal note to followers and friends.

Left ear almost no pain (a blessing and I'm thankful) . Right ear, pain is still as sever as before surgery and still bleeding.

No returned hearing in either, at this point I'm told if it were going to happen it would have.  Bright side I didn't lose the last tiny bit, but still so little to work with.

Frustrating, scary and overwhelming, but I have you, friends, family and about a zillion pets!! Not to mention Gods plans. Even though I wish I knew it.

There is little doubt I will need stage 2...the special hearing aids with the extended tubes. I believe God wants me to be hearing and will HELP this to happen.

SO again I ask for you help.


Extra thanks to those who have already sent money to help with Stage 2 of surgery.....Hearing aid placement.  We have a good start but as much as I hate asking and admitting, we do still need a lot of help. Remember the donation button is on the side of my blog, you can go to paypal.com, click on "send money" and use t.paws@aol.com as the payee. If anyone would prefer to send a check or money order to a real place, email me at either t.paws@aol.com or autisticmystic@gmail. com for the address.

Peace, Love, Thanks, Rawr!! and Shalom to all .

Carrie Lynn