It IS me!!! Change

Yesterday I spoke in a poem about letting go. Tonight I want to  talk about change. Personally I often find this word scary. Worse than a 4 letter word. Especially when I'm not the one to make the choice to change. Being autistic change is pretty much a dirty word.

Change is letting go and moving forward. Change is taking a risk. Change is a chance to let faith lead us. Giving God/dess a chance to get us to where we need to be. Change is f'ing scary!

As you all know I took a chance and became a groomer. Spent hours bathing big dogs, grumpy dogs, dirty dogs, flea infested dogs, groomers dogs, you name it I bathed it. Then went to groomers academy, groomed my set amount of dogs and became an official groomer. Then got sick and my world crashed every thing changed when I got back (long story) I got demoted or stepped down to be a bather again, and then got fired.

It was worth it. I made some life long friends, learned a skill to use on our "pound" puppies, and paid a few bills. May not have worked the way I wanted but it was not a worthless risk I regret.

This week I'm taking another risk. I have the chance to be student clergy with a very small church AND do counseling with them. So using my degrees and doing counseling, gaining experience and getting more schooling. YAY me!

Why to I feel its a scary change? A risk? Because its every thing I want and worked for is at my finger tips. Sink or swim time is how I feel. Also I do care about what others say.... I have some that will say I'm giving in ad going main stream pastoring rather then just doing so online or small group. On the other hand I have folk yelling UNITY those  new age freaks. I may lose a few conservative or very liberal friends. I hope not but I maybe a controversial choice in a controversial church, so I wont be surprised if I do.

Funny thing change......things about me may change but I'm still me.  I have my small group name Runick.I still believe small is the way to go.  I still say a few naughty words. I'm still searching for my spiritual path. Unity will allow me to still be these things and more. Not only that but help with it all. So many different faiths and people are part of Unity I get a chance to earn even while learning.

Sigh change. That time in your life that you can sit passive and see what happens of take a hug leap of faith. For me today I'm taking the leap. Right now it feels as if God/dess is holding HER arms open and I'm leaping in.

I'm including a video I made when I was thinking about a different very seminary a different path. However I haven't shared it before and now seems the time. It shows a a lot of change in me up to about a year or so ago wen I made it. 

I feel the answer to the question it ask is a resounding YES for me.

The video is very Christian although that now is not my sole path . Hopefully you will enjoy it.

“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another."

 Anatole France

I have finally learned the question in not if change will happen, we know it will. The question is will we be passive by standers and jump in and make the change or at lest make the best of it.

***********************************************************************

I ask you guys tonight to share change stories. We don't always want it, we can't always control it, However we can make the best of it.

Shelama my friends.

Letting Go

Strength in holding on

Strength in letting go

When do we know

How do we choose

Letting go

Letting go

Letting go

Letting go

Life flows like a river

Always forward never back

There is one moment

And then another

If you miss a moment

 Let it go

Maybe it wasn't yours

Maybe it wasn't time

Will it come again?

No

Will you get another chance?

Maybe

Things end

So new things can begin

So pain can stop

So hurt can heal

Letting go

Letting go

Letting go

Letting go

Do you have the strength?

To move forward

Moving forward is

Leaving being

Moving forward

Leaving behind

Letting go

Leaving behind

Letting go

Gains your future

Letting go 

Releases pain

Forward forward forward

Always forward

Clinging to the past is

Clutching the pain

Letting go

Letting go

Letting go

Letting go

Take the leap

Use your strength

Strength to flow forward

Not clutch the pain

Not all past is pain

Not all future is easy

Grasping clutching

Causes hurt and pain

Not letting life flow

Not moving forward

Safe? Maybe

Healthy never

Move forward

Let go

See the new future

The sunrise for you

Job and Such

Not a whole blog just a short note to friends and followers. To those of you that know me or have put 2 x 2 together on my blog, yes I have recently lost my job .Am I happy about about it?? In a way. Am I scared about money and insurance....HELL yes. Do i think it was unfair.....want a list????

But am I OK. Yes very OK. This is a choice the Divine made for me because I wouldn't make it on my own. It was time I left. I couldn't get the nerve to take the risk, so SHE took it for me. 

Where to now? who knows I just know my future is full of LIGHT and I'm excited to see where the path leads me.

Already in just the few days kind hands and hearts have reached out. I'm finding that I do have people that care and I have a chance for a fresh start. What better way to start summer.

I will miss friends , regular doggies I see all the time and those special pet parents that just touch your heart. Any one of the list or any one else knows how to reach me even if its just through here. Please do!!!

I will miss the Green Belt every morning ( a city path by ex-work) so I'm looking for a new path to walk/run. No more woods is sad for me. How ever the "path" I took to day I unexpectedly found beautiful flowers . Here are just 2 of the patches I found along side the road. Guess you don't need the woods for beauty or to find nature.

I didn't crop because I wanted you guys to see them just like I did. By the side of the road.

So long story short, its a roller coaster, but I truest in the Divine to help me find my way.

Love you all!!!

And remember my favorite motto.

 Have you loved the world this morning.? Its not always easy but life is so much better when you do!!!

Shalom
Carrie

P.S.  so I didn't slay the dragon or the bully......I'm glad... I stayed true to myself.

Sparks and flares of "good"

 

What if god/dess is a magical beast that holds the secret of light and shadow in a safe place in her heart 

and when it has been too long dark and angry, she starts to dance and laugh and cry and sing

 and the sunlight fills her up and spills in wild abandon back into the world again ?

 

 

 

Balance Balance

Matrix Matrix

We create her

SHE creates us

 

So much anger

So much stress

She lets out the beauty

Saved for such a day

 

Today I put in hope

You put in distress

She puts in anger

He puts in love

 

Balance Matrix

Matrix Balance

The balance weighs

To the good

 

We created God/dess

From good

When we start to weigh it evil

SHE throws in extra good

 

I've been studying about the God Matrix, so much to learn. I've mentioned before I love the idea that each creates the other. Personally I've been exploring the idea that both have free will once created.What if we did such a good job SHE stores up the extra good for us?? Lind of like saving for a rainy day (even though I love the rain).

Puzzle pieces such a recurring theme in life for me. Autism is a puzzle but is it? Maybe we are just a piece of the whole puzzle. where do I fit?  Where do you fit? What is the whole if we allow our selves to fit rather than fight out place or some one else's??

For me while the loss of my job is traumatic, it is a relief. 

BALANCE

 

 

Matrix Strong

Born Fragile or Matrix Strong?

Interconnected, interwoven, 

strong together, weak together

weak as the weakest link?

strong as the strongest connector?

Born weak, small, tiny

needy, helpless, 

full of potential

part of the connection.

A chain

a straight line of links

weak as the weakest link

are we as weak as a chain?

A matrix

a series of interconnections

strong as the strongest connector

are we as strong as a matrix?

I've been reading a lot about numerous thoughts on faith, belief, and what is or isn't the Divine. I've been reading about the theory of the God Matrix. Its quite complex in its simplicity. A matrix, a complex connection of individuals linked together over and over, not just side by side like a chain. Strength in numbers. Almost like a loosely woven basket or maybe a net. 

 

God makes us, we make God.......We make God, God makes us. The life giving spark in each of us, when interconnected with every being on earth, creates the God Matrix. God is within the matrix, God is the Matrix. We created the matrix and God, God created the Matrix and us. (see I said, so simple, yet so complicated).

 

Personally, the more I read and study and THINK, I'm liking this theory. This theory is matching my belief in a way I wasn't even aware I was believing yet. 

 

Interestingly, it puts the responsibility squarely on our shoulders. No longer can we say "but God said", "but God wants"....it now becomes OUR responsibility. I'm responsible for you as you are responsible for me. 

 

What about the rotten apple that spoils the barrel? We can't think this way anymore. We can't let the whole barrel spoil or just toss out the rotten apple. We are responsible for making sure the apple doesn't become rotten, or we need to heal the rotten spots. 

 

Sometimes, we need rotten apples to bring out the best in ourselves. I'm not saying we are meant to fix and save the world alone, on our personal shoulders, but we are meant to bear our part of the burden. 

 

When there are too many broken connections, there will be holes, and frays in the matrix but as long as there are strong members of the matrix, the matrix will not dissolve.   

 

To bring paradise or, in the terminology of many religions, Heaven to Earth, we need to make this matrix as strong as possible. How do we do this? Again, so simple, yet so complex....be the best YOU possible. You are the only YOU. You are a connector made for your special spot in the matrix, and yes, without you, there is a missing piece. 

 

 

If Suess translated the bible and more!

If God Only Knew

one god two god

red god blue god

my god your god

good god bad god

loving god hateful god

giving god selfish god

graceful god vengeful god

new god old god

green eggs and ham

god i am

i make the rules 

you are the spam

i will not change them

not for you

you can not make me

no not you

Star belly sneetches at stars upon thar bellies

Plain belly sneetches had non upon thars

The star bellies think all should be like them

They write books and preach and shout

But maybe just maybe the star belies are wrong

Plain bellies shouldn't change at all

Stars and not special they just are what they are 

Inside is what matters...what matters right thar

Maybe you read this as silly, maybe as serious.  My mood as I write? Mixed. Emotional roller coaster. What a few weeks I have had. A affects B.......B affects C...C crushes and hurts D and E and then.....E finds the strength to make it all better.

Where am I going with this?? Trying to say there is NO right answer no right path. For me I believe if we follow the way of peace and love....well we have paradise. We have a long way and many different parts to play to get there. 

 

And the song???? What if she is a loving deity that has given us free will......she sees all this pain but also knows pain is growth and to take back her gift would be make us lesser beings?   Just a thought.

Shalama dear friends

Sea of my heart

A walk along the surf
You and I 
Hand in hand
Heart beats as one
Two souls ,still, yet joined 
Nothing exists but Us and natures creation 

You laugh out loud to share this
As I run a head spying a special shell
You smile and shake your head
You sit and empty your shoe I told you to leave behind
I run backward laughing at you and your shoe
Arriving at the shell,  I know it's meant for you


Running back to you
You pull me down and say "watch"
"Watch what ? I ask"
You hold me against you tight,   both facing out 
"Be still and listen my baby"  you say
"some things are worth waiting for !"



Watching watching watching
I finally see I small splash out of place 
I turn to you, you smile and "say watch"
I turn just in time to see a dolphin leap
"Keep watching" u say and hold me tighter
A whole pod leaping and frolicking 


I'm full of joy, what I saw and shared with you
My heart is full with life 
Life you may not give me
But a life you help fulfill
A life you encourage
One I like you a part off
One we create


You whisper in my my ear
"This is what you get when you trust fate
When you leave negative energy
When you believe the positive 
See what happens when you trust me and fate?"


You turn me around 
Push up my sunglasses
And gaze into my eyes
Because its you I gaze back
I feel loved and treasured
I want you to feel the same


Is this day a dream or real?
I have a shell to remind me
Sand in my shoes make smile
You hand in mine your chuckle you
Are I'm me like the sea of life 

My return home 

The raw deal

There is a hole where my heart used to be because it fell out  while running from scary things one night in a dream & it hurts all the time now & I have no clue know how to fix it & sometimes I think I don't even remember that it's gone. 

I started this blog to show my spirituality as myself and as an autistic person. I'm only representing myself and how I see the world. Some times the blog was Christian , some times spiritual, some times mixed and always me and parts of my autism.

As time went on and I made friends through here, instead of falling back on tradition scripture, holidays, and what every one else writes about,  I decided to use this space as a place to be real, honest and to explore.
I used metaphors and some were negative....words such as bullies. They were used to express feeling about a lot going on in my life and environment at the time and never truly one person. "The bully" was a combination of hurt and feelings.

Today I found out that some people have used some of my words in very hurtful, not just to me, ways. I'm not sure if they wanted to hurt me...or thought they were protecting the other person they thought all the anger was directed at. Who knows maybe they even thought they were helping me. The fact is at lest two people including myself have been very very hurt.

Where to go from here? I'm not sure . Being autistic this was one place I felt safe to communicate my thoughts and beliefs when communicating true feelings is very very hard on the average person much less an autistic. To share spiritual thoughts not of main stream when you live in eastern TN is hard....and I feel like my safe space has been invaded.

I need to continue writing to keep my grade for school. I'm no sure how are where to go with it. If I go "clinic" pretty much like early on I let down a lot of people that read to learn how I think and as an adult person with strong spiritualism and happens to be autistic.


A few people took something that was honest and cleansing and turned it hurtful. I'm not sure how are up in twisting words and hurting people and even how many will be hurt.

My gut reaction is to run "in" internalize feelings, act the way we autistics do best until we melt down. What will I do? I'm not sure. I am taking a few days off to clear my head and think.

 An it harm none do what ye will

Wiccan

 Do to others as you would have them do to you. 
Christian

"Love All, Hurt No One, Trust A Few"
Buddhism 


"Hurt no one so that no one may hurt you.”
Islamic  

No dragons did I slay tonight nor will I tomorrow...just hoping to wake in the morning and still love the world. That's what I do best and what I hope to do tomorrow and the next day and the next.

Shelama

Some of my best friends are dragons

Wrong Wrong Wrong

 I try to make friends with the dragons

but their breath grows hotter

their fire reaches further.

How do you know?

When standing your ground is right

Or if you should admit the good fight had been lost and go on?

Some times the good fight HURTS!!!

My ass gets burned

Am I just hurting my self for no good reason?

Am I taking PRIDE in being a dragon slayer

when few see the dragon?

Have I lost  the point?

Have I lost me?

I am a peace maker not a slayer

Maybe the time as come to lay down the sword

Peace maker healer comforter
these are my callings
priestess pastor shepherdess
not slayer crippler destroyer

I may hove lost me in the mess
But now I have found me
I did not slay the dragon
we share one others power power

Some are dragons
some are healers
to make the world go round both are needed
to have a yin yang with our dragons is what we need

Sometimes we are all Little Souls

 

 

"Wow," said the Little Soul, dancing and skipping and laughing and jumping with joy. "I can be as special as I want to be!"

"Yes, and you can start right now," said God, who was dancing and skipping and laughing right along with the Little Soul.

 

 

 

 

Lately I've been talking about good and evil. Bullies and heroes. Dragon slayers and dragon riders . How do we "decide" what is good or evil? Whether its our actions , another's , or another person. 

 

Yes there is bad or "evil" around us. Yes if we know there is some one bad or evil we need to protect our selves. However, whenever possible (while protecting) we need to show compassion , love, friendliness and forgiveness.

In the last two weeks I have shared this story with I don't know how many people. So I thought I would post the link here for all.

The story teaches something not easy, uncomfortable,and  times we just don't want to do. But remember.....we are made in the light, of the light, and to be the light. 

 

The Little Soul

 

Dragon Spirit

 

Anyone can slay a dragon,

 but try waking up every morning & loving the world all over again. 

That's what takes a real hero. 

"Story People"

 

You guys now this has been a rough couple of months for me and mine. From surgery that healed poorly to money issues. From dealing with a bully to dealing with self-esteem issues. Life is not always easy . We want to save or be saved. We want black or white. That grey area is very scary for most off us. 

My issues, growing up the way I did and my autism makes me want solidity. Even being creative and having a great imagination.......I still crave order, things in a row, and to have some idea whats coming tomorrow.

I haven't written for a few days because I've had a dragon I've been trying to slay. Working myself up to slay it has made me feel an anger and a rage that I have not felt in years!!! Yes my autism gives me meltdowns still, and to some they look like anger and maybe rage. However its a surface and a mental thing.... you deal with the stimuli and the melt down calms. It never reaches heart and soul for me. 

This attempted dragon slaying had created a rage of heart and soul....of attitude, that was, well,creating a whole other dragon. That dragon was consuming me , or I was consuming it, or maybe I was becoming a dragon...but I was not me.I was NOT the Carrie people know and love....the calming, loving, peaceful Carrie. I was other.

Then something happened, my heart and soul remembered their way home. What was it? I'm not sure. A kind word? A spark of eye contact with a kindred spirit? Hurt in a loved ones eyes so strong it awoke me? Something some how reminded me of me. Bought me home to me.

Do I need to wake up every day and slay a dragon or save the world? No. In fact..... as crazy as it sounds what if we make friends with the dragon.  Learn to harness and share that power. Power doesn't have to be rage....power can come gently and kindly.

 

Grey does exist. As hard as it is for my autistic mind to find order in grey , there is a lot of wonder and beautiful life in the grey. In the grey we can live as one with the dragon finding both calm and power.

 

Having both you can wake in the morning and love the world. I missed you world. I love you and will love you again even more when I wake up.

 

 

 

The full circle of The Divine/There is nothing more than that!!!

Do I have a secret to life?

 Shall I share??

The sound of what cannot be seen sings within everything

There is nothing more to it than that

The Divinity is in us all!!! 

So many of my friends seem so down lately . Some for some very honest legitimate reasons.... life is hard. Work is hard. People get sick, pets die, friends move, friendships change, jobs change, and some times we just feel out of control.

Then there is this crappy reason.....we LET people tell us who we are. We let them define us.  I include myself in this we. So I starting thinking of God within us, us within God......the full circle of the Divine....The Divine is all and in all. Sounds unfair when we see evil going on....but we are able to convince ourselves to look for the good there. Soooooo it follows...find the good/Divine in yourself.

Find it...hold on to it. It's yours and yours alone. The Divine gave it to each of us and each of us alone. We are each given our own special piece of The Divine to nurture to grow and create. Treasure it.

Jellybeans for all!!!

Out of the RUINS

of the UNLOVED

the NEGLECTED souls

we have become INSPIRED

to CREATE a spark

and to KINDLE a new beginning

RUNICK

Sometimes religion and culture leaves those of us who are unique feeling as if we are less than others. We often feel as if our lives are nothing but ruins. We feel unloved and neglected by those around us who choose to judge and make fun rather than take the time to get to know our uniqueness. 

I feel as if God/dess has given us this uniqueness to inspire not just ourselves, but those around us. When everyone is "normal" or engrained to think and believe the same things, it is hard to become inspired. I believe God/dess has made us in Their own image so we have the power to create. 

We are given a chance to kindle in each other a spark of love, kindness, and faith.

We are RUNICK for a reason!!!

Tonight a group of 4 met. To start something new. To explore, to ask questions, to grow and learn. Amazing thoughts were shared, future ideas. Ideas for study, for exploration and even for experimentation. Jelly beans, pizza and sweet tea were shared. The elements where called up on to help guide us. If our numbers grow...AMAZING....if not our group already has a heart.

In the words of Yeshua  Shelama

Spark of the Divine Within

 

 

It only takes a spark to get a fire going

and soon all those around can warm up in its glowing

that's how it is with God's love

once you've experienced it, you spread his love to everyone

you want to pass it on. 

What a wondrous time is spring when all the trees are budding

the birds begin to sing, the flowers start their blooming

that's how it is with God's love

once you've experienced it, you want to sing its 

"fresh like spring"you want to pass it on. 

 

 I wish for you my friend, this happiness that I've found

you can depend on God, it matters not where you're bound

I'll shout it from the mountain top

I want the world to know the Prince of Peace has come to me

I want to pass it on

God, Allah, Yeshua, Gaia

Full of life, full of sparks

in you has been entrusted this spark

kindle it with love, care, and kindness.

Peace, love, joy, happiness

sparks to share

so simple, so easy

use your spark to light others.

 

Lately, as many of you know, I have been feeling a lot of anger. To counteract this anger, I've tried many tricks of the trade. Walking, meditating, prayer, and singing songs such as the one above that I learned from very happy times at church youth events. 

During these retreats, while we used the bible to study, we were taught much more about love from the Prince of Peace rather than quoting scriptures and not knowing the love behind them. 

Because of my fortune of not only being a Lutheran youth, but a VA Synod Lutheran Youth, I have a fountain of these songs in my head to sing when times are hard. I also enjoy singing them and sharing them when times are good. 

I've picked this song to share tonight on the eve before our Runick Group starts. A group of spiritual exploration. Where will it take us? We are yet to find out. The beauty will be in the journey.

I took liberty with this song and changed "him" to "God" and "Lord of Love" to "Prince of Peace". Personally, I find it much more accessible to those not of the christian faith to just slightly change words. (or maybe I just spent to much time in an MCC church) 

Each and every one of us have that spark of the divine in us. We call it by different names, but it is the life spirit given to us by our higher power. A spark barely burns, until it is shared and then the light spreads. I don't care who you are...queer/straight, what color, able or differently abled, autistic/neurotypical, with a spiritual life or seeking one, you have that spark. Together lets learn to make it glow and how to share it.

*Pass it On courtesy of Kurt Kiser

**MCC is the Metropolitan Community Church, the first accepted queer church started in 1969

I Never Promised You A Rose Garden

What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have never been discovered.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

God/dess doesn't make junk!!! How do we know? How do we really know? If we are fortunate enough not to feel like junk but we see those around us, lame, crippled, or other wise disabled, how do we know?

We have problems unseen (un believed)  , "friends" make fun of us, loved ones don't understand us, how do we know?

Our chair, our cane, our walker, the cancer, blindness, deafness,injuries that change life plans, how do we know?

Being gay, queer, transgendered, a different race or culture in a small community. How do we know???

How do we know God/dess doesnt make mistakes or junk....or even throw a ways???

FAITH  oh yes one little word that is so so hard at times. Faith!!!!

How do we find it.....?  Look in your heart, look at the people around you, look at what you do have. Look at creation, how do you even see all this with out faith, a belief in a higher power.


Personally I'm struggling with this right now.  It feels I have two choices...to medicate and make myself acceptable to those around me ( this is my problem not theirs, the hurt is getting to much) , or re-accept myself and accept most people will never under stand me even partiality.

I have FAITH I know God/dess didn't make a mistake  so....so I go to science, part of her creation to get me through this hump...or do I some how pray, mediate, hope, wish, work, for the strength to get a better grip and realize if they don't accept me they are not worth it. It hurts. I wont lie. It is hurting my job, my home life, my friends, my heart, my soul, but oddly enough my Faith is stronger and even more sought after than before, and a friend out of the blue saw my status and as been getting me through!!! So some good has come!!! (not to mention J is helping but I fear I'm hurting her).

"The strong and steadfast power of faith is precious indeed."

Buddha 

I have faith, so how do I listen to it??? Is it faith to trust science, or faith to trust my strength to over come? Or even strength to have faith to trust science??

Some say I'm a dreamer

 A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight,
 and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.

Oscar Wilde

How hard it is to see beauty where others see  ugliness

Frustrating to see light where most see only darkness 

Isolating to see hope when they see despair

So very lonely to see God in their emptiness

Where ugliness is, create beauty

In the darkness, let your light shine

Where you see despair, share your hope

In the emptiness, invite Goddess

Beauty ugliness in the eye of the beholder

Darkness light an opening of the heart

Despair hope expanding your soul

Remove the emptiness, follow Yeshua

Ugliness beauty beauty ugliness

Light darkness darkness light

Despair hope hope despair

Allah, Mother Gaia, Buddha

Am a I dreamer for believing in the good?

If so allow me to sleep

Is it a dream to believe all are one?

Then hold back the dawn 

258 days and counting!!!

1 Corinthians 13:13

For there are these three things that endure: 

Faith, Hope and Love, 

but the greatest of these is Love. 

Aramaic Bible

 

 Easter is over, Christ has risen, spring is here, Ostara has made her return as promised with spring hope and blooms , birds, and love are in the air. 

So now what do we do? These gifts have been given to us with no expectations in return. Yet many look down on these gifts and offer little thanks.

If love doesn't fit OUR definition we refuse to count it as true Holy Spiritual love. Are we scared? Are we snobs? Do we feel it is a competition? 

 

 

 

 

So many times CHURCHES want to make women second best.... but when you truly read ANY religious history including Christianity there is male and female, equal in the divine. At no time is this more prevalent than in the spring with the hope and promise of new life.

 "A religion without a goddess is halfway to atheism."

 _anonymous

Mother Gaia

 To see what few have seen, you must go where few have gone.
-The Buddha

 

As I said Easter is over and we have 258 days tell Christmas Eve and about the same for Winter Solstice, as Christians and other spiritual folks what do we do in the middle?

 

How about follow some of the Buddhism teachings and not only learn more about Christianity and the bible and Christian history, but lets go where few dare to go.....lets study each other, each religion and see where we meet..where we are the same...stop with the semantics and differences in names , instead of diverging at the fork in the road lets meet there!

"Love all, with sincere love and concern" 

Islamic

Jesus used the word Shelama in his native Aramaic , meaning unconditional love for each other. Most other prophets in the majority of religions challenge us to this form of love. We do don't get to pick and chose which neighbors we love.

 And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

Khalil Gibran-Arabic

As for me I found out ow great my love for my God/dess and Her love for me was, during the few most painful moments of my life...when I lost my twin, my brother....I lost faith in every thing , my world fell apart so intently I wasn't even sure of gravity. Not only did I fall to my knees in grief, I was totally prostrate holding on to blades of grass to ground me, scared I would some how fall off the world. And gently so gently He called me back, She refilled my heart with the love that was never gone. Again I was able to stand, to be some what whole.

We have 258 days to not hate, to not judge, to not make fun , to not be cruel or hurt.

258 days to make our prophets and God/ Goddesses pleased with our growth, with each of us bringing heaven closer to earth

What will you do with those 258 days?

I'm Queer and I BELONG to God/dess

7 APRIL
Easter Eve is a
time for services of
baptismal renewal.
Today wash your face
with special care and
attention; let the waters
flow over your face.
Look into the mirror
and say, "I have been
baptized. God loves
me. I belong to God.”

I could say so much right here. Remind you mu focus is on the life not the cross. Water is a part of many religions...long before Christianity came along!!! AND I DO NOT HAVE TO BE BAPTIZED TO BELONG TO GOD/DESS!!!! Or even to be Christian!

That said J and I did feel the need and a call to make a point that GOd/dess loves us too!!! So we made a rainbow cross for the front yard for the zillion of Baptist that pass by on teir way to church to see. And remind them of A) God loves queers B) there are lots of of queer Christians and C) the rain ow as a reminder of a promise of love to ALL  people.

Getting prepared for tomorrow morning!!

Wonder if it will be broken or stolen?? Any takers on that bet!!!

Is the crib and the cross all that matter

5 APRIL
Jesus died on the
cross. Think about it.
Why did it happen?
Ask yourself what you
truly believe. Now ask
God.

 

 

If there was no Crucifixion of Christ, no morbid death and torture, no resurrection, would you still follow the teachings of Yeshua? 

 

 

What if He was a great prophet, lived a long life, married and had children, and died a natural death. 

.....or are the teachings in between worthwhile or worthless? Do we only want flash and bang or are we willing to sit at the feet of the teaching rabbi and learn? Or are we only sitting at the foot of the cross and wailing? Waiting for another great miracle or have we learned and moved on??

 

Do we forget our spiritual life with out a significant reminder?

 

Many people say with out the Resurrection Christianity is just another religion.....what if? 

Shelama