Don't Judge a Bell by its Ringer

Today I am thankful for many, many things.

I am thankful I learned from a wonderful granny and aunts not to judge a book by its cover, a group by just its loudest members, or a bell by its ringer (if you will).

While reading Facebook today, for the most part, the hate and judgment have been pretty toned down. The exception being telling people where to spend and give their money.

I agree with educating each other. I agree with putting your money where your mouth, beliefs, and votes are. I agree with learning from statistics and how groups as a whole spend their money and treat people. I DON'T agree with judging a member of a group by the groups reputation.

I know I know I know. You are all screaming CARRIE but but but but  and your probably sputtering and almost spitting to tell me all the reasons I'm about to be wrong and that if we don't take a stand against certain groups who will. Honestly all I'm saying is before jumping on a band wagon and judging a whole group take a deep breath and look at the individual. It's what you would want for yourself isn't it?


Certain religious groups are getting some really bad raps. Yes I agree A LOT of it is well deserved. However, is that bell ringer by the donation kettle you are about to spit in , kick, put trash in, or catch on fire, the person that did....what ever?? Do they deserve your anger?

While we may disagree with certain policies and beliefs of a group, and we certainly don't have to give that group money, or even our respect. We do owe the individual respect if they are living their beliefs. (Please know I'm talking about a lot of groups. Right now it just happens to be the Salvation Army that's on my mind).

A personal experience of mine comes to mind from a few years back when I was still living in Virginia. While working for a non-profit, many organizations were joining together to help the homeless. Most shelters, unless they are specific detox shelters, will not let someone in who is under the influence. As frustrating as this is, it is necessary for the protection of staff, volunteers, and others seeking shelter.

A group of us were out handing out blankets, hot coffee, and words of encouragement to those who, for some reason or another, were unable to receive shelter that particular night. I came across one gentleman, so emaciated and suffering such severe detox symptoms he should have been hospitalized. He was still cognitive enough to refuse to go to the hospital. Unfortunately, he was still too intoxicated to take one of the last available beds at the Salvation Army.

Several people tried to convince him to allow one of us to take him for medical help. When he kept refusing, most shrugged their shoulders, covered him in a blanket, gave him another cup of coffee and went on to the next person.

However, one young man, with cell phone in hand, sat on the corner with him, wrapped him in his own jacket, and held his hand. He just smiled at the rest of us, and told us he would call if he needed us. As we left, we saw him with his head up against the grimy, unwashed head, of the shaking, homeless man. He was whispering in his ear. Was he whispering prayers, words of hope, encouragement??? Who knows besides the two of them and God. What was he waiting on? For the man to sober up to take him to the shelter? For him to finally pass out so he could take him to the hospital? Again, we don't know what was in this young man's heart.

Later, while walking back to the fire station meeting hall, we saw this true follower of Christ, carrying the man, so emaciated that he couldn't walk, into the shelter.(we had left them over a dozen blocks away).  My only guess, is he waited patiently and kept him company until he sobered up. I also found out in the morning he went back to retrieve the man's sole companion, a dog, and kept the dog until he found a temporary home.

I could go on with more positive stories of members of the Salvation Army, but some are very personal, and would give away the identity of a good Samaritan that I know would rather remain anonymous.

Do I agree with all of the beliefs of the Salvation Army or other religious groups? The answer is an adamant "no". However, I do respect and admire those who live their beliefs to the best of their ability in a Christ-like fashion.

Again, I'm not asking you to give any group you don't wholeheartedly support, your hard earned money.  I do ask that, unless the individual themselves have been cruel or judgmental, that you respect them.

Recently, several shelters including the Salvation Army have refused shelter to homosexual men. In my opinion, this is very unfair, but does it undo all the other good they do?

I don't claim to know all, or even many, of the policies of the Salvation Army or for that matter, any of the shelters. I do know the Salvation Army, as well as most shelters, keep separate shelters for males and females. There are many good reasons for these policies. At times they seem hurtful because it often separates couples and families. This leads to even more problems when deciding how to handle same sex couples. Regardless of the shelter's belief systems on homosexuality, many problems can arise for gay and transgendered individuals when it comes to gender separation. 

Sometimes, refusals of shelter may be purposeful because of sexuality and transgenderism, and sometimes it may just be complications due to lack of education.