Spin flip float and skip

I have a bunch I want to share especially the next few days so I can really explain myself to you. Then I realize part of the beautify is that I can't really explain my self quickly and simply and that is what this whole journey is about.

So I'm going to jump in with one of the ways I personally experience God .

As well as the traditional soft spoken quite times, I experience God in the BIG LOUD MOVING times!!!!

  Sometimes for me there is so much joy and life and God in me I can't be quite and small. (yup you can guess how that went over in Sunday school and bible school!!!) Little sister twirling twirling in her pretty dress...little brother twirly beside her   flapping his jacket....praising God using the same random words from the story in class while flipping and flapping in a great dance. Chanting out words sounding ever random . Never interrupting one another never practicing, but choreographed beauty.  And if the adults cocked their heads just so...stayed out of the way...they would hear their bible lessons taught back in a simpler more beautiful song that all the kids were starting to sings together each doing their own little danced with the brother and sister still spinning and hopping in the center, by the end of glass. And you guessed it....that was the group of kids that learned that weeks lesson. We may not have regurgitated every word the teacher wanted us to... but when the Pastor walked by us in the hall way and we were still spinning and flapping...and dancing...and we were chanting ideas from the stories and parables....we were the one that got his attention. He knew we got it!

To this day I still mostly learn this way. This is how I process...stuff comes in and I spin and flap and most of the useless spins away. Sometimes even the useless people can't join in or wait patiently for the flip flap to get over...so they are gone too. Sadly I mostly do this alone now, although I do have a few dear friends that are patient to see what I come out with.

One thing that often brings I guess a "problem" is that I still feel Gods hug and love in the beat you only git from spinning and flapping and skipping. And so many adults are scared of this. Of just experiencing God. I don't know if the fear is what they will experience....which can be scary but the love felt is so worth it. Or could it be the shame and embarrassment of some one else seeing you totally let go?? The fear in letting go?

I still feel God in spinning hops and jumps. I still have people glare and me and tell me to stop just like when I was a child. I'm even called stupid and dumb when they think I don't hear.....but it doesn't matter  it comforts me   it opens me  and it lets God hug and heal me. I truly feel God holding me more during times like this then any others. I can answer so many more questions.

One big question I will ever have I think is that people ask if you believe.  To me its yes or no, you believe or you don't.  You may believe yet need to grow...but you KNOW you believe.   I'm not sure why I can only find black and white in this but it seems to always be the case.

I made a brief demo to share with you of how my thought process often works...even if I'm sitting quite and still.  Yes the music is there...the shapes the noise and the people calling me stupid and dumb all there  swirling and going faster and slower and I must pick out the parts I need  and not let the others hurt me.
Many friends have asked how can I really be autistic I act to normal. Well act is a key word there...I'm lucky I've learned not to only work around it, but to enjoy the ride. I've been given the gift to hear feel and see many things that others just pass by.

Our Bishop once described both my brother and me as having warriors hearts to protect our mystic souls.  Hopefully this is the kind of person God needs.